Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
