You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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