And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
