only if we run a train.
done.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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