Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
