I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
