Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
