True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
