Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
