She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
