I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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