Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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