My first STD was from a foam party
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
