I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wanna passion pit in your ass
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
