whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
