she woke up with a sticky ear
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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