3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
