I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
