she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
