hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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