Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Everyone says I win the strip club
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
