Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
