either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
