You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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