The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
