he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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