For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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