is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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