I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
