WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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