Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
