I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
