trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Girls should come with a carfax report
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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