meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
