I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
PANTIES FOUND
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