come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
