what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
