btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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