You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
