ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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