my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
