We got so high we made milksteak
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
