Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
