It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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