There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
