I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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