I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
