So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
