Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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