Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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