so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
