OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
